v.2 of A time my world changed poem

95 lbs. and Overweight

I winced as I saw the red numbers pop up on the scale.

It was the first time I’d used the machine.

I was heavier than I thought.

You’re fat,

My sister teased.

(She had all the right to. She was the pretty one.)

That’s when obsession started.

In the days proceeding,

I passed on seconds,

skipped breakfast,

ate a one serving, 240 calorie, bag of Ruffles for lunch,

and popcorn for dinner.

I cringed at my reflection.

My thighs the size of tidal waves,

rippling as I walked.

My empty stomach looked to me as if

I just ate a large turkey dinner,

and the oversized bulges climbing out of my waistband

were covered by my oversized hoodies.

I cut out pictures of models-

The ones everyone criticized for being

too skinny.

But their thighs did not ripple-

their love handles were nonexistent.

I tucked them away in a binder under my bed

for secret motivation.

I weighed myself everyday hoping to shed the pounds.

The scale became my mood ring

too high, and my day was ruined.

Try as I might, my weight

never went down.

What a failure.

That was then.

Now at 120 pounds, trying to stop the rising numbers

would be wasted time.

I have learned to accept the girl

In the mirror,

Although whenever I see her,

I still suck in my stomach.